It’s a Very Hard Knock Life

One of the facts of life that you would encounter in your daily activities would almost be certainly the fact that not everything goes towards your expectations: The post was not delivered in the time period that I was expecting: the toast was burnt to a crisp: I must have mistaken the time needed as six minutes, not five; and the dog has, yet again did a number two in my bedroom slippers, even though I had told it repeatedly that it is not a toilet. Now, I dare not ever put my feet in my slippers, for fear of touching something warm and squishy.

This can either be a good thing, or, in my case, a horribly bad thing, which just has the effect of increasing my bed’s magnetism: It used to be that I would spend an average of seven minutes in bed before I choose to do the brave thing of trying to sit up in bed, up to fifteen on days with a temperature below 15 degrees. Now, this has approximately doubled, with the fact that I would be consequently discouraged from participating in the hassle that is known as “daily routine”. Who wants to be awoken from tea with the Queen by the annoying sounds of an alarm clock, and to have to drag yourself in the direction of the bathroom along the floor for ten metres, a distance that is comparable to running the New York Marathon, especially when the floor is marble/porcelain/not carpet, and when frost had gathered on the windows. Now, knowing that the unpredictability of life makes this even more hazardous and life-threatening, especially with the absence of any woollen slippers, the reaction I get all the time is this: “Why bother?”.

I understand that, in effect, the converse could be true: The postman would have delivered my mail early, the toast would be perfect, and my dog would have learned to use the toilet, like everyone else. However, such is our transport system and our workplace loads, that we tend to lower our expectations more then we tend to raise them: everyone would be absolutely amazed if one train actually made it on time, and, pretty soon, all the networks would be over the incident, hordes of men and women, dressed in tuxedos, interviewing the driver of the train as heroic.

But, delays are so common nowadays that, even if a whole trainload of passengers goes missing for three weeks, a rescue team is still not made aware of this: the period, I guess, is 4 years.

But what has made transport so lacklustre? The explanation lies in the fact that we all want to avoid doing things that we do not want to do: no one, such as train drivers, managers, employees, tram drivers, want to do things such as going to work early, making train services start earlier: make every employee work longer and earlier shifts, because that would equal to what is known as a “boycott”.

But, since train drivers can expect delays, such as large crowd, this would mean that they would be delayed further by people who are too incessant about catching an earlier train, when the next could be only two milliseconds away: you get up to tens of millions of passengers fighting over a single seat, with people scratching each others’ eyeballs out and bashing each other with secret company documents. Strangely, this is not considered too much to be assault.

So, because of the fact that we all want what is best  for us, I deduce that there would be no reason to wear my woolly slippers ever again.

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