Long ago, I left the normal world above the ground, in physical or mental contact with human beings every hour of the day.
I left them long ago, created by own isolated world beneath the ground, and separated myself from any contact with the outside world.
There are things that I miss, yet there are things about the life that I lead that I greatly prefer. Being alone every hour of the day can be better than you think.
There is only yourself, your thoughts and whatever you are capable of conjuring out of your imagination.
Since the beginning of our existence as a species, Homo Sapiens have attempted to find meaning where there is none to be found. The most obvious example of this is the question of the meaning of life, to which the most obvious Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy answer is ’42’.
Looking deeper, does life possess any inherent meaning? Isolated from the outside world, with only myself, food, my thoughts and books, I have had plenty of time to ponder this question.
The answer lies in the realm of fantasy. There is no objective answer, unless you count reproduction as found in nature. Every species that Mother Nature has every cultivated in her arms has evolved and adapted in order to achieve this fundamental. We, as humans, are incredibly successful at it, our burgeoning population having strained the planet’s resources so far that much of the world is no longer habitable.
If there is any real objective of life in our modern society, it is to make money. Money is the driving force behind almost everything we are able to accomplish. Although people say that money cannot buy happiness, it can do anything else. You do not need people to survive if you are separated from society. You need to keep yourself sane.
To keep yourself sane, you plausibly need human contact, or some kind of motivation. For me, the motivation is knowledge. To quote another age-old saying: “Knowledge is power.” Those who have knowledge have a greater understanding of the universe that they inhabit.
As I have discovered, however, academic progress is ultimately fulfilling. Making a genuine discovery is more difficult than most think. We still have yet to find a way to restore sustainability to the ravaged Earth, to create new lives out of sterility and debris. Finding a solution to a problem is far more difficult than finding the problems with a solution, and the matter which I face today is one that is not easily resolved.
To re-enter and somehow re-integrate into society is to leave my sober thoughts and individuality behind. It is to step back into chaos and disorder, yet uniqueness and individuality.
Some people prefer independence, but what they find is that when there is only independence, socialisation appears far more attractive.
At least, that’s how it seems to me.
To leave or not to leave.
I lose either way.