Introduction – Alexander Smith

Let me tell you a little bit about Alexander Smith. From the beginning to the end of his life, Alexander had nothing but groans. His parents groaned, his school teachers groaned and he groaned. But enough of him. His life was depressing and it’s making me depressed.

Instead, let me tell you a little bit about Rachel McJohnson. She is a nice girl, with a cute face and dazzling dimples. She was my first crush before she started dating that jerk, Andy Philstein. I bumped into her the other day and spilled my drink all over her. It wasn’t very nice and her boyfriend came over to tell me the next day. I still have the scars.

Allow me to introduce Andy Philstein, the jerk that I just mentioned. He’s generally on the short side with an ugly face to boot. He’s got a complex or something and really worked out. Now he has a general appearance of a gangster or a thug. I don’t really know him that well so I don’t have much to say. The last time I’ve heard of him was that he joined the army and disappeared a few months ago. Oh well.

Now, let me talk a bit about myself. I have short cropped hair, from a recent failed hair experiment, am fairly tall and possess a somewhat slim figure – or so I’ve heard. I tend to like girls and wouldn’t mind hanging around them and the girls don’t mind me too much. The other day, I was taking a walk in the park when a girl I knew ran into me. She must have been running really fast for the next thing I knew bam! she was sprawling on her back and so was I. I got up and asked if she was alright but she didn’t respond. I waited a few minutes but she refused to get up. So I left her and as far as I know, she is still lying on her back, white earphones plugged in and still listening to the same tune which echo and whisper secrets forever and forever into her ears till the end of time

– jygp, 2013

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