Film Review on Battleship

Peter Berg produces and directs “Battleship,” a terrible action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior alien force. Possibly, the worst film of the year, Battleship fails across the board.

The story follows Taylor Kitsch as Lt. Alex Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam Shane, a physical therapist and Hopper’s fiancée; Alexander Skarsgård as Hopper’s older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson; Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, Hopper’s crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone’s superior (and Sam’s father), Admiral Shane.

In terms of screenplay, directing, soundtrack and casting Battleship is literally quite disgusting. A cheesy storyline is never a good sign as it means there is almost always cheesy writing, which is frankly unbearable. Even the action scenes in this film lack imagination and for any filmgoer seeking energy escapism, you’ve been terribly misinformed, as Battleship cannot even reach the level of an actual film, but rather an annoyingly long infomercial on the Navy and what the Navy does when attacked by extra-terrestrials.

This film was destined to be horrible as soon as Rihanna was casted but in the end, we can logically come to the conclusion that even she, was not the worst actor. Yes, I know I sound completely mad but I think I am right; Rihanna has, most surprisingly put in an incredibly sub-standard performance, but her peformance far exceeds what I was expecting. In reality, I would say that the worst actor is a toss-up between Taylor Kitsch and Liam Neeson, who put in laughably bad performances. I was most disappointed in Liam Neeson’s decision to involve himself in this, despite the big bucks offered- I completely lost respect for him.

So, even those who go to films looking for escapism and unrealistic fantasy, do not be tricked by Battleship, as it doesn’t even fit the viewing criteria of a donkey. I just hope that your view of the Battleship board game is not in any way affected by this film, as the board game, far exceeds the film in terms of intelligence.

My vote for the worst movies of the year.

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